The Business January 29th 2014: The Festival? MORE LIKE THE BESTIVAL. SF Sketchfest Edition

The best fest is SF Sketchfest, and it’s here once more! The Business is once again a part of the festivities, and we have a couple of stellar guests for you.

ONE OF THEM EVEN HAS A WIKIPEDIA PAGE!:

Guy Branum was born and raised in Yuba City, California. He attended the University of California, Berkeley from 1994-1998 where he was a history and political science major. He wrote a column for the Daily Californian, one of which brought the United States Secret Service to his apartment in November 1997 before the Big Game between Berkeley and Stanford University, in which he made suggestions that Berkeley students murder Stanford Freshman Chelsea Clinton.[2][3][4] He was also involved in campus politics on the Cal United Masturbaters party[citation needed]. He played quizbowl for the Berkeley Quizbowl Team.[citation needed]

He then moved to Minnesota, where he attended the University of Minnesota Law School, and was on the U of M Quiz Bowl team that placed third at CBI nationals in 1999.[citation needed] After graduating he returned to California.[citation needed]

After being recommended by co-hostess Laura Swisher, Branum was hired as a writer for Unscrewed with Martin Sargent while it was still on TechTV in San Francisco.[citation needed] On Unscrewed, he regularly appeared as a sweater model and as The Ambassador of Gay. He was also a writer and producer on G4tv.com,[citation needed] and head writer on the G4 channel program X-Play. He also contributed to the comedy podcast Weezy and the Swish. In December 2007, Branum became a writer and an onscreen comedy performer on Chelsea Lately. He made his feature film debut in January 2011 in No Strings Attached. In 2012 Branum became a writer for the show Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell, performing a recurring segment "No more Mr. Nice Gay."[5]

He is also openly gay.[6]

SEE!?!

Plus!!! Megan Beth Koester, who is stunningly witty. She is the best kind of bright and the best kind of dark. She is not just a stand-up treasure, she is also a good writer who is good at writing stuff. See for yourself on VICE.com.

And of course, your regulars: “Bonnaroo” Sinister, “NATO Summit” Green, “Annapalooza” Seregina, Hardly Strictly Caitlin Gill and “SXSW” Kean.

$10. And get those tix like right now cause this well SELLLL OOOOUUTTTTT.

BYOBurrito and make it a super YOU DESERVE IT.

The Business January 22nd 2014: The Dolly’s Partons Edition

The Business will always love you, which is why we hope you’ll be there with bells on this week while we welcome some of our favorite guests, just when you needed them most.

She’s back for a minute from Portland, and we just know she’s gonna shine, it’s Amy Miller!

Amy Miller gets on stage to tell jokes and you’re all like well she doesn’t look funny at ALL. I hope she doesn’t blow this! Maybe I should go for a smoke break? 2 minutes in, your pants have been charmed off by her rosy cheeks and the fact that she sounds like a 6 year old Asian boy. 5 minutes in, you start to feel sad for her and sometimes feel the need to go “AWWW” out loud in the middle of her set or, occasionally “YOU’RE ADORABLE.” 10 minutes in you’re not sure if you want to have wild sex with her or have her pretend to be your mom and tuck you into bed at night while lightly stroking your hair and singing You Are My Sunshine because she’s also an excellent singer. Any exposure above 15 minutes and your head is just a chaotic swirl of love feelings and a crippling fear of eventual heartbreak and rejection at the end of which you decide you should just be best friends. It’s fun!

Plus, Matt Louv! He’s so handsome, you’ll be asking, why’d he come in here lookin like that?!?!

Matt is a comedian, Juggalo scholar, birdwatcher, wild mushroom gatherer, grizzly bear avoider and extremely eligible bachelor. He has been doing comedy for four years and isn’t famous because he would never compromise his artistic vision with success. He runs a weekly comedy show in San Francisco’s Mission District, called The Mission Position, and is generally considered “one of the funny ones” by his comedian peers. He is slowly dying from mushroom poisoning.

And Karinda Dobbins! She SOARS. She truly is like the eagle when she flies.

Motor City native Karinda Dobbins was born into a politically active family of skilled storytellers and sharp wits. Her worldview was shaped by their accounts of protest, civil rights and empowerment, weighty subjects that were always leavened with humor. Whenever she heard the grownups laughing long past her bedtime, she took that as her cue to sneak out of her room and eavesdrop while they entertained themselves with Richard Pryor records. She not only listened, she learned, and grew up to hold her own as a keen comedic commentator.

Plus your regulars! Anna “Serejolenea”, “Nato-to-Five” Green, and “Bucky I’m Burnin” Sinister.

Get your tix in advance cause even though Dolly won’t ever sell out, we totally do.

BYOBurrito and wrap it in a foil of many colors.

The Business January 15th 2014: The Vote For Edwin Li Edition

Vote for whoever you want in a San Francisco mayoral election, but you should always vote for Edwin Li in the election for which comic you would most like to high-five. He is so very high-fiveable. Edwin began working as a comedian at the age of 16, barreling through five minute open mike sets and hanging in the wings of the Punchline, picking the brains of any funnyman that would talk shop. His earnestness and shameless curiosity have made him a favorite with comedy veterans and club owners alike. PLUS! All the way from Boston, Andrew Mayer Andrew Mayer, a hotshot lawyer haunted by his childhood failures as a boy in pee-wee hockey, was charged with drunk driving and ordered by a judge to coach the worst hockey team in the league. He was reluctant at first (especially when all those crazy kids were on his limousine), but, eventually, he taught the kids how to play hockey like a duck would if it was really good at hockey. The team Andrew coached even made it to the championship game! And we all learned a little extra something about ourselves in the end. What I’m trying to say is: Andrew Mayer is a weird guy. With a quirky delivery and an offbeat sense of humor, he has quickly become a mainstay in Boston’s comedy scene. OH HEY AND David Nguyen! If you ask what made him want to be a comedian, he'll reply, "arrogance". Absurd or dark – David enjoys delving into every topic with a biting wit. And Sacatomatoes own Nick Aragon! It’s gonna be a party! Not the political kind! Your regulars will be there as well, Nato “Green PAR-TAY” Green, “Rebublicaitlin” Gill, PRESIDENT Sean Keane, Anna “Pinkogina” and Bucky “Senator”. BYOBurrito. Choose your own filling. THAT’S DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.

The Business January 8th 2014: The TERRIFIED Edition

Holy Fuck! This week at The Business is gonna be just great. 

One of our very favorite people is gonna be here, and we could not be more Terrified of him. He's Dave Ross!

Dave is a comedian and storyteller in Los Angeles, CA. He is the host of the podcast Terrified on the Nerdist Network and a MOTH GrandSlam winner. You might have seen him on Tosh.0 with his sketch group, WOMEN, or heard him telling stories on KCRW. There is a 100% chance Dave wants to kiss or hug you.

We'll also be joined by the exceptional talent and hair of Andrew Holmgren!

Andrew Holmgren is one of the main contributors to San Francisco comedy collective Sylvan Productions, running the popular monthly showcase ‘Get Yucked Up’. He was named by SF Weekly as one of its top comics to watch for 2013 and has appeared on stages across the country including SF Sketchfest, Santa Cruz Fringe Fest, The S.H.I.T.S. and Giggles comedy fest as well as the Sacramento Comedy Festival, where he earned best of fest honors. He’s got great hair and loves sweaters.

Plus your Business regulars! "Scaredy Cat" Caitlin Gill, "Oh No!" Nato Green, "AK!"na Seregina and "BOO!"ky Sinister.

BYOBurrito and remember it's just as afraid of you as you are of it.

The Business January 1st, 2014: The Happy Birthday Colleen Edition

It's January 1st, 2014, but The Business isn't taking a day off, especially not when it's Colleen Watson's birthday! Yes, Clayton Valley High School alumnus-turned-Los-Angeles-living-room-resident Colleen Watson is back in the Bay and visiting the Business, and today is definitely the anniversary of her birth. We've also got an appearance from Kevin O'Shea, fresh off a triumphant week at Cobb's Comedy Club with John Oliver, and other special guests as well. No Nato (he's out shopping for Colleen's present), but we've still got Anna, Bucky, Caitlin, Sean, *cake, *ice cream, Business-branded beer koozies, and lots of *party hats. Here's to 39 more wonderful years of Colleen - at least! (*not actually available)